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The car conversation

A car is how a person gets to the doctor, the store, and everyone they know. That is why this conversation is hard, and why it goes better as a transition you plan than as an announcement you make. There are more middle steps than most families know about.

The warning signs NIA lists

If you cannot watch the person drive, NIA says to watch for these instead:[1]

  • Multiple crashes, near misses, or new dents and scrapes on the car.
  • Two or more traffic tickets or warnings in the last two years.
  • Car insurance going up because of driving problems.
  • Neighbors or friends mentioning erratic, unsafe or aggressive driving.
  • Anxiety about driving at night.
  • Health problems that affect driving, including vision, hearing and movement.
  • Complaints about the speed, lane changes or actions of other drivers.
  • A doctor recommending they change their driving habits or stop.

NIA treats these as reasons to assess, not a scoring system, and says plainly that there is no one recommended age to quit driving.[1] NHTSA puts it the same way: decisions about driving should never be based on age alone.[3]

The middle steps, before the keys are the subject

  • A driver rehabilitation evaluation. NIA suggests having driving skills checked by a driving rehabilitation specialist, an occupational therapist or another trained professional, and says the American Occupational Therapy Association keeps a national directory of driving specialists. It notes there may be fees.[1] AOTA's directory is public and it answers questions at [email protected].[2] An evaluation can recommend limits, retraining or equipment as well as stopping. What it cannot do is certify that someone is safe.
  • A self-assessment. NIA points to NHTSA's online self-assessment as a way for a driver to gauge their own abilities, and suggests asking family and friends for honest feedback.[1]
  • CarFit. Free community events where trained volunteers check how well a driver fits their car: mirrors, seat height, pedal reach.[5] It is a fit and positioning check. It is not a driving test and it does not say whether someone should still be driving.
  • A driver safety course. NIA notes that some insurers lower the bill when a driver completes one, and names AARP as a place to find a nearby course. Ask your own insurer before assuming a discount.[1]
  • Self-chosen limits. Daylight only, familiar streets, no highways, routes with few left turns, and staying off the road in bad weather are all in NIA's own tips for driving safely.[1] Treat them as risk management. None of them establishes that a particular driver is still safe.

Dementia changes this

NIA says that in the early stages of Alzheimer's or another dementia some people can keep driving, but that as memory and decision-making get worse they will likely need to stop. It also says that people with dementia often do not know they are having driving problems, so family and friends need to watch and act on what they see — forgetting how to get to familiar places, for instance — and work with the health care team to tell the person it is no longer safe.[1]

That is the reason the usual advice to wait for insight does not apply here.

What a doctor and a DMV can do

The doctor can assess, counsel the patient to stop driving, and refer for an evaluation.[1]

The DMV is where this gets state-specific, and the differences are the whole story: who is allowed to report a driver, whether the report stays confidential, whether any physician reporting is mandatory, and what the state does next. NHTSA publishes a summary of state driver-licensing provisions, including renewal rules and age-related restrictions, and notes that some states restrict drivers at a certain age.[3] We are not going to summarize fifty states in a sentence. Your state DMV's own medical-review page is the authority, and it is the page to read before anyone makes a report.

Where the public record stops

Two things here are decided locally: your state's medical-review process, and what transportation exists after driving. Here is who has those answers.

Who to ask: your state DMV's medical review unit; your Area Agency on Aging for senior transportation (1-800-677-1116).

What to ask them:

  • How does someone request a medical re-examination of a driver in this state, and is the requester's identity kept confidential?
  • Are physicians required to report certain diagnoses to the DMV here, and does a diagnosis trigger a re-examination?
  • What senior transportation exists in our county, and does it go to medical appointments?
  • Are there volunteer-driver or subsidized ride programs, and is there a waiting list?

Who helps you locally, free. Your Area Agency on Aging gives free options counseling. Reach any of them through the federal Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 or eldercare.acl.gov (Administration for Community Living).[4] More on the four people who help, and what each one does, on Who helps me locally.

Quick answers

What are the warning signs an elderly parent should stop driving?

NIA lists these signs to watch for: multiple crashes, near misses, or new dents and scrapes; two or more tickets or warnings in the last two years; insurance premium increases because of driving; comments from neighbors or friends about erratic or unsafe driving; anxiety about driving at night; health problems affecting vision, hearing or movement; complaints about other drivers' speed and lane changes; and a doctor's recommendation to change or stop driving. NIA treats these as reasons to assess, and says there is no single age at which someone should stop. [1]

Can a doctor report an elderly driver to the DMV?

This is set by each state, and the differences are large — who may report, whether the report is confidential, and what the DMV does next. NHTSA publishes a summary of state driver-licensing provisions, and your own state DMV's medical-review page is the authority for your situation. A doctor can always assess, counsel a patient to stop, and refer for a driver evaluation. [1, 3, 4]

How do you take car keys away from an elderly parent?

Move the question off your judgment and onto an assessment. NIA points to driver rehabilitation specialists and occupational therapists, and says the American Occupational Therapy Association keeps a national directory of them; fees may apply. NIA also suggests self-assessment tools, a driver safety course, and asking family and friends for honest feedback. Arrange replacement transportation before driving ends, because losing the ability to get to appointments and errands is the actual loss. [1, 2]

Sources and what they support

Sources checked 2026-09-19 using AI-assisted editorial research. This is a source check, not a clinical review.

  1. National Institute on Aging, safe driving for older adults. Supports the full warning-signs list quoted here, the statement that there is no one recommended age to quit, the referral to driver rehabilitation specialists and the AOTA directory with possible fees, the NHTSA self-assessment, the insurance-discount note for driver safety courses, the driving tips used as self-chosen limits, and the dementia section including that people with dementia often do not recognize their own driving problems. These are warning signs and suggestions; NIA sets no threshold at which a person must stop, and none of this is an assessment of any individual driver.
  2. American Occupational Therapy Association, driving and community mobility. Supports the existence of a searchable driver practitioner directory and the [email protected] contact. Credentials, what an evaluation includes, and what it recommends vary by provider and by state; an evaluation cannot guarantee that a driver is safe.
  3. NHTSA, older drivers. Supports that decisions about driving should never be based on age alone, that some state DMVs restrict drivers at a certain age, and that NHTSA publishes a summary of state driver-licensing provisions. It is a federal overview and is not a substitute for your own state's current rules.
  4. Administration for Community Living, Eldercare Locator. Supports the referral route to a local Area Agency on Aging. Which transportation services a given agency offers, and whether it has funding, varies locally.
  5. CarFit. Supports the program's existence and its purpose as a vehicle fit and positioning check run by trained volunteers. This is the program's own site; CarFit is explicitly not a driving-skills or safety certification, and event availability is local.

Removed in this pass, for want of a verified source for each state named: that all states allow physician reports, that most allow family requests, and that California, Oregon and Pennsylvania mandate certain physician reports with California specifically mandating dementia reporting. State medical-review rules change and are the one thing on this page worth reading at the source.

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