Where to start › Questions to ask
Questions to bring with you
In the room, an overwhelmed family nods at words they don't understand. The single most useful thing you can carry is the question you didn't know to ask. Below is a checklist for each person you're likely to talk to — the discharge planner, your Area Agency on Aging, the Medicaid office, an attorney, a facility on a tour. Print the one you need, or text it to yourself, and walk in prepared instead of lost.
To print or save just one list: open its section, then use your browser's Print (Ctrl + P on Windows, ⌘ + P on Mac) — the page is built to print as a clean checklist, without the menus. You can also print the whole page at once.
Jump to a checklist
If a hospital discharge is coming
Use this now if there's a discharge or sudden decline. Who to ask: the hospital's discharge planner or case manager — ask to speak with them today.
- Is my person being discharged to home, to rehab, or to a nursing facility — and why that one?
- What care will they need in the first days, and who is expected to provide it?
- Is a short skilled-nursing or rehab stay covered by Medicare, and for how long?
- What equipment, medications, and follow-up appointments do we leave with?
- If home isn't safe yet, can the discharge be delayed until a safe plan is in place?
- Who do I call, day or night, if things go wrong after we get home?
Before you call your Area Agency on Aging / options counselor
The free, unbiased local hub for everything aging. Who to ask: your Area Agency on Aging — reach any of them at the Eldercare Locator, 1-800-677-1116.
- Given my person's situation, what services are we eligible for right now?
- What can help us keep them at home safely, and what would it cost?
- Is there help for me as the caregiver — respite, support, or training?
- Which local agencies, programs, or benefits am I probably missing?
- What should I be doing now to prepare for the next stage?
- Who else should I be talking to — and can you connect me?
For free Medicare counseling (SHIP)
Free, unbiased, one-on-one Medicare help — not a sales line. Who to ask: your State Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP), at shiphelp.org.
- What does my person's current Medicare coverage actually include?
- What will Medicare cover for skilled nursing or rehab after a hospital stay — and what won't it?
- Would a different plan or supplement fit their situation better, and when can we change it?
- How do we handle a denied claim or a bill that looks wrong?
- How do Medicare and Medicaid work together if we end up needing both?
For the state Medicaid office / ADRC — including the “$20k” question
Where long-term-care Medicaid, the limits, and the waivers actually live. Who to ask: your state Medicaid office or Aging & Disability Resource Center (ADRC).
- What are the current income and asset limits for long-term-care Medicaid in my state?
- What does the application require, and how long does it usually take?
- If I have very little to my name, who chooses the nursing home — and what are those homes like?
- Which local facilities accept Medicaid, and are Medicaid beds available now?
- If my parent is married, how is the spouse still at home protected?
- Does my state's Medicaid pay for care at home or in assisted living, not just a nursing home?
- Is there a waiting list for the home- and community-based waiver, and how long?
For an elder-law attorney (the money, the house, the timing)
The right place for the how-do-we-do-this-legally questions. Who to ask: a licensed elder-law attorney in your state (your AAA or SHIP can often point you to one).
- Given our finances, what are our legitimate options before we spend or move any money?
- Which of our assets count toward Medicaid, and which are exempt?
- We made a gift or transfer in the last five years — does the look-back affect us?
- How do we protect the spouse at home, and the house, the right way?
- What is estate recovery likely to look like for us, and can it be planned around?
- What will your help cost, and what should we do first?
For a Veterans Service Officer (VSO) — free, accredited help
Never pay someone to “get you approved” for VA benefits — accredited help is free. Who to ask: a Veterans Service Officer through your county veterans office or an accredited VSO organization.
- Based on service history, does my person (or a surviving spouse) qualify for the Aid & Attendance pension?
- What is this year's net-worth limit, and how is our situation counted?
- What VA home-care or home-modification programs are available locally?
- How do VA benefits interact with Medicare, TRICARE For Life, and Medicaid?
- What documents do you need from us, and how long does a decision take?
Before hiring in-home care or a home-care agency
For keeping someone at home safely. Who to ask: the home-care agency (and your AAA about what's covered).
- Are your caregivers your employees — screened, bonded, and insured — or independent contractors?
- What exactly will a caregiver do, and what won't they do (bathing, medications, cooking, driving)?
- How do you handle a missed shift, a last-minute cancellation, or a bad match?
- What is the hourly cost, the minimum hours, and what raises the price?
- Can any of this be paid by a Medicaid waiver, VA benefits, or long-term-care insurance?
- Who supervises the caregiver, and how do you keep me informed?
When touring an assisted living community or personal care home
Bring these on the tour and write down the answers. Who to ask: the administrator or admissions director — and check the facility's public record in our directory first.
- What exactly is included in the monthly price, and what costs extra?
- How is staffing at night and on weekends, and what is the caregiver-to-resident ratio?
- Does my person get their own room, and can they eat in their room or only in a dining hall?
- Are the doctors, pharmacy, and hospital they use nearby — and how far?
- What transportation do you provide to and from medical appointments?
- What happens to their car, and can residents keep and use a vehicle?
- How do you handle a medical emergency, and a change in needs over time?
- May I see your most recent state inspection report?
When touring or choosing a nursing home
Ground these in the home's public safety record. Who to ask: the admissions director and, ideally, the director of nursing.
- What is your most recent state inspection result, and were any problems corrected?
- What is your nurse and aide staffing, especially nights and weekends?
- Do you accept Medicaid, and would my person be able to stay if they move onto Medicaid later?
- How near are the hospital and their doctors, and how do residents get to appointments?
- Can my person have their own room, and how are personal belongings and privacy handled?
- How do you communicate with families when something changes?
- What would cause you to discharge or transfer a resident?
When looking at a memory-care setting
For when memory loss and safety are the main concern. Who to ask: the memory-care director or administrator.
- How is the unit secured to prevent wandering, and how are exits handled?
- What is the staff ratio on the memory-care unit, and how are staff trained in dementia care?
- How do you handle agitation or sundowning without over-relying on medication?
- What does a typical day look like, and how are residents kept engaged and calm?
- How do you keep families informed as the condition changes?
- What happens if my person's needs grow beyond what this unit can handle?
Who helps you locally — free, and on your side. You do not have to figure this out alone. Your Area Agency on Aging gives free options counseling; reach any of them through the federal Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 or eldercare.acl.gov (Administration for Community Living). More on the four people who help — and what each one does — on Who helps me locally.