Where to start
If you've just become responsible for an older person's care — maybe overnight, maybe after a phone call from a hospital — you are not behind, and you are not alone. Almost everyone arrives here knowing none of the words. This page is a map. It won't decide anything for you; it will help you understand the choices and show you exactly who to ask when a question is one only your state or a local office can answer.
First, which of these is you?
This is urgent — there's a hospital discharge coming, or a sudden decline, and you need to move in days. Start with the people paid to help you right now: the hospital's discharge planner or case manager (ask to speak with them today — a safe discharge is your right), and your Area Agency on Aging through the Eldercare Locator, 1-800-677-1116. Then come back to the questions below when you have a moment to breathe.
You're planning ahead — things are stable but changing, and you want to understand the road before you're on it. Good. That is the best time to learn this. Work through the three questions below in order.
Almost everyone ends up answering three questions
Elder care feels like a thousand decisions, but underneath, most families are working through the same three:
- 1. What kind of help does my person actually need? → Figure out the kind of care
- 2. Who pays for it, and in what order? → Who pays for care
- 3. What happens when the money runs out? → When the money runs out
You can read them in order, or jump to the one keeping you up tonight.
Special situations worth checking early
- Is your person a veteran (or a veteran's surviving spouse)? There's a benefit many families miss → If your person is a veteran
- Are memory changes the main worry? Dementia shifts the whole picture → Memory changes & dementia care
How to read anything on this site
We lay out what is publicly known — the rules, the programs, the official figures — and we attribute and date every piece of it. We never tell you what to do. The specific dollar limits and the "will my mother qualify?" questions belong to your state's Medicaid office, your local Area Agency on Aging, and — for the money questions — often an elder-law attorney. Every road here ends the same honest way: with who to ask and what to ask them.